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By Nathan

Continued from front page

After a generous steak dinner, we were telling each other weird and wonderful stories about our respective services, when Kevin burst out laughing and told me this beauty, which he swears is true, and it topped off a perfect evening”

This submarine captain, who was Kevin’s roomie at Annapolis, while on a training patrol, ordered the periscope up. He looked into it and then bellowed, “Who put this picture in here? How did anyone get a picture of this naked woman in there?”

No one would admit to doing it or tell who did but everyone stared at young Mr. Smith (not his real name), the newest Ensign. The Captain glared at him. Mr. Smith looked as innocent as a newborn babe. The Captain was positive he did it but how to prove it? Prove it? The Captain didn’t have to prove it.

“Mr. Smith, I want a point by point drawing of the forward torpedo room by 0600. You read me, mister?”

“Aye, aye, Captain”, Mr. Smith replied.

At 0601 the Captain bellowed, “Why is there a drawing of Mickey Mouse in this torpedo room, mister?”

“Sir? That’s not Mickey Mouse. It’s the overhead wiring and the thingy that holds the torpedo in place. Must be an optical illusion, sir.”

“Ensign, you’ve watched too many comedies. I am not a tolerant man and this is the real US Navy. You’d better straighten up and fly right.”

“Sir? Begging the Captain’s pardon, this is a submarine.”

The ensign was transferred out of the Submarine Service when the training patrol was over. He was referred to as “Ensign Pulver” in whatever duty he was shipped to thereafter.

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Page Last Updated: 9/8/2002
C 2002 L Munro